Letting me down
I always have a hard time coping up with disappointments. As I have said in my previous shout out, I’m having a crash course now on how to take disappointments well. Akala ko sanay na ako, hindi pa rin pala.
Bata pa lang ako, kapag pinangakuan ako ng isang bagay, tapos hindi natuloy o natupad, naglulupasay ako sa pag-iyak. Ngayon, parang gusto ko ulit gawin yun. Pero syempre hindi naman yun sign of maturity kaya kahit mahirap, pinipigil kong umiyak tuwing nadi-disappoint ako. Alam ko namang kasalanan ko to eh. Ang dami kong kaibigan na nagsabing huwag gawin ang kung ano mang ginagawa ko ngayon. Pero dahil matigas ang ulo ko, eto..sige pa rin.
Gusto ko lang namang maging masya, simple as that. Kaso sa paghahanap ng happiness, di talaga maiwasang may kahalong lungkot. Everytime someone lets me down, magmumukmok ako for like 10 minutes, tapos ok na ako ulit. Ngayon yun. dati weeks bago ako maka-recover sa disappointment. Oh, at least nag-improve di ba? Pero mahirap pa rin, sana dumating yung time na ma-immune na lang ako sa sakit. Masaya siguro yung wala ka nang nararamdamang kahit na ano.
Ang therapy ko ngayon, sinasabi ko agad dun sa tao kapag naiinis ako o nagtatampo. Isang "sorry" lang naman, solve na ako. Ganun ako ka-forgiving, sana hindi maabuso. Ganun ako dahil gusto ko, kapag ako yung nakagawa ng hndi tama, madali rin akong mapapatawad ng mga tao.
Kanina, na -dissapoint na naman ako…alam kong di pa to yung huli…bring it on… I’m ready for the next one….
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